On Tuesday, McDonald’s restaurant unveiled their new mascot “Happy” the Happy Meal, and the Internet has responded with varying degrees of shock and disgust, calling it “lipstick on a pig.” It’s deserved, in my opinion, as the “McScary” box as it’s been nicknamed looks like Slimer from Ghostbusters possessed SpongeBob Squarepants:
Scuttlebutt around marketing circles suggests that McDonald’s knew what they were doing with the creepy mascot, allowing the collective horror of the Internet to proliferate the image faster and more completely than even their insane advertising budget could. If that’s true, I’m not completely sold on the idea, but I can see there’s some merit to it. So the McDonald’s Happy character isn’t regular crazy – its crazy like a fox.
So, in light of one McFreaky fast-food mascot, I thought it would be fun to apply the grotesque features to another well-known mascots,starting with Jack, from Jack in the Box:
Apply the same bulbous eyes and dimensional teeth to the Wendy’s character, and you get some kind of an Alfred-P.-Newman-in-drag effect:
The Happy Star from Carl’s Jr. ends up looking like something out of a nightmare:
While the Panda logo is cute, but with claws and teeth it’s unsettling. This version actually looks like it belongs on South Park or something.
And who wouldn’t buy chicken from this guy?
At least Burger King was smart enough to ditch their creepy King character on their own.